on life in Grown-up Land

If I said that I've been meaning to post, would that make up for my silence? No?
What if I said that I've been really busy, graduated high school, and started a full time job?
Fine, then. Moving on.

Well, I looked through some "old" pictures the other day. Most of these pictures were taken earlier this year, some late last year. No, they're not old pictures.  I think I'm the one that's old. I feel it. I feel like that was years ago and I've already grown up so much since then (which is probably the biggest indication that I really have not grown up in the least).
But really, I do feel as if I've been ruthlessly shoved into entered the Big-Scary-Realm-of-Grownups, also known as the "Real World," while I would much rather live happily in Neverland where there is no such thing as responsibility, business, bills, clocking in or out, short lunch breaks, morning commutes, bookkeeping, or taxes. There's also a whole lot more fun, family time, food, and sleep (although, I admit, I would miss the paychecks of Grown-up Land). Ah, well. We can't have everything we want. (Unless we were in Neverland.)

On another note, I have so many secretarial tales that I can't wait to share with you. I get to visit with some of the most interesting (old) people. My job certainly has its perks.

For now, here are some instagrams from life leading up to today:

last days of school

graduation weekend

everything since

Memorial Day: hike in Tishomingo and an outdoor movie

my Daddy-O doing a couple of his favorite things. At the same time.

the sun rises early. in case you didn't hear.

Chelsea's shower

Camp Moriah 2012

good times with these kiddos and Rach

4th of July

post Friday night Frisbee!

On growing up

I'm a senior.

I'll be 17 before I know it.

I'm looking at colleges.

When did this happen?! Last time I checked I was 9 and thinking of my college days and imagining that Future Courtney, who would know what to do, where to go, and when to do it, would come and save the day.

 Isn't it funny how, as a child, you always imagine your future self to be -- someone else? As in, not you. But now I wake up to find, I'm still me. (deep, right?) I didn't magically morph into Future Courtney. Although I have been changed since 9 (only by the grace of God), I'm still the same 9-year-old girl (plus a few years) dreaming of those seemingly far-off days when I would grow up, become a woman, and move away from home.

But now that it comes down to it, I don't want to move away from this dear old home-of-mine. Truth be told, I don't want to grow up. Truth be told, I'm scared. Truth be told...I just want to find Peter Pan and Neverland.

Sometimes I forget. I forget that I have no strength in myself. I forget that if left to myself I would never want to grow up and wouldn't be able to bear the responsibilities if I did. Praise be to God I haven't been left to myself. My strength is in Christ and Christ alone. He alone can help me to bear things I don't neccesarily want to bear and the things that I can't. He alone can guide me in the way I should go. I want to be ready to receive HIS will - whatever that may be.

"I am trusting Thee to guide me:

Thou alone shalt lead,

Every day and hour supplying

All my need." 

Frances Ridley Havergal, (Hymn 541).

Second star to the right, and then straight on till morning.

Why must things change? Why must we grow up? I refuse to. I shall go find Peter Pan and happy Neverland.